Thankful

Well happy late thanksgiving. There is a lot to be thankful for. Sometimes i get so wrapped up in day to day life, and sometimes the drama that ensues at work i forget to be thankful.
I'm thankful at the moment to be done with one of the three quilts i'm working on... Well, sort of three. And here it is, one of my co-workers is having a lil' monster, as she likes to call him. So, for the lil' monster i made him a lil' quilt.



i have to say i am glad to be done with it. There doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get life worked out. Then i make the decisions to do things like take up yoga, and bless Bill's heart, but man he puts you in for a work out. When i was talking to a friend i realized that she takes yoga with him at the rock gym. Small world.

well, good night moon.

getting up, and moving.

So, it's that season again. Time to get out the stretch pants, and loose fitting clothes. It's my goal this year to NOT gain weight, and at least maintain.
i started taking yoga. i've been 3 times, and i do enjoy it, it kicks me in the butt, but i enjoy it. i like my yoga instructor Bill is a good instructor. i have always been a little scared to join anything that involves looking ridiculous in public. But Bill is the nicest, he helps you out, and doesn't make you feel dumb if you can't quite move into downward dog. Half way through ever session i swear i will never go back, i will never do this again, and the thought are you kidding, move like that??? Yea, right mister.
But i go back, bless his heart. One day i will be a yogi, or maybe i won't fall over while doing the kneeing warrior pose.

Road to forgiveness

i'm trying to find my way back to forgiveness. i get consumed with wondering how God could know me and forgive me, know my apathy and forgive me, especially when i struggle with forgiving those who have deeply hurt me, not allowing myself to fully accept the fact that God has forgiven me, b/c that means if God has forgiven me, i must too forgive.
For me to forgive would be to let go of my self-righteous anger. Or what could be worse, reconciling with a toxin on my soul. Forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation though, it means letting go of the pain, hurt, and holding no harsh feelings. What i need is to allow myself to forgive without feeling the need to reconcile.
i don't want reconciliation, i want closure, i want to be free. i want to forgive, but i don't want things to go back to the way they were before. So what does that look like?

The first Tuesday in November

So, everyone is going to vote, right!? i've been a bad monkey, and i need to turn in my ballot, but i will tomorrow. Yesterday i was talking to my mom, as she was processing the need to find a new church, especially since it was "Election Sunday" at her church.
i have to say that every day i grow more thankful for the body of Vibrant. i love the diversity, politically speaking... i am proud of my liberal upbringing. i remember the first time i voted, 10 years ago with my dad. Before we each went into our respective booths he made sure to let me know to vote what i believe, not what any political party told me, but what resonated with me. It's something that i have taken in with me into adulthood. An ex of my mom's once scolded me for voting for Ralph Nader, and i replied (probably in a very annoyed tone) that i voted my conscience and that in fact i did not throw my vote away.
i've struggle over the last ten years in the church b/c the word liberal has been such a four lettered word. i truly don't want to put anyone who disagrees off, but i want so much to see social change. i want to see Christians living the life that is required of us. i was reading an article in time magazine about if God wants us to be rich. The article quoted many evangelical leaders speaking of monetary wealth, and that being how we are blessed by God. i'm sorry, but i refuse to believe that that is the avenue God chooses to bless His people. What about the millions living in Third World countries? i refuse to believe that i have some how more favor in God's eye, than a sister or brother in Christ living in the Sudan, or even someone homeless in my community.
It seems that we are so wrapped up in ourselves that we fail to see the world around us. Maybe we are blessed with income, not to buy a huge house, or home school our children, but to support those who are truly in need. God knows i truly don't need more income to waste on myself.
Um, back to voting. Vote what you believe; vote what resonates with your heart. If you love your library vote yes, even if it costs you a couple extra dollars a year. If you feel compelled to support the school system, and social services vote yes; give them the option to live, and learn.
But more importantly, vote what your beliefs.
As Jim Wallis says everytime i see him speak, "we are the change we have been waiting for"...

Quote for a life time

It is not what we do that is important,
but how much love we put into what we do:
we should do small things with great love.


- Mother Teresa

Intolerant moods

i can't say that i have done anything productive today... Well, i made a killer curry... i love having Saturdays off, but often i just listen to NPR, and surf the net.
Today however, i did happen to get wrapped up in tvland... It started off innocent enough w/ some shows on the decorating channel... Then some mythbusters... i did get wrapped up in a program about the kkk on the History Channel.
i consider myself so sheltered from the culture of hatred. i never grew up thinking there was any difference between skin colors; thanks to Sunday school songs. The thought of racism still makes no sense to me, and i am so filled with such disdain, and rage. These are the programs that i have to put the remote down, or it could be hurled through my roommates television. i am enraged by the injustice, for the hypocrisy, the ignorance, and the injustice. What twists my brain into convulsions is the kkk's ideas about religion... Jesus was a Jew, he was an advocate for the oppressed, and his compassion for the least of these.
i live in fear that i am a bad representation of my faith, and so i am compelled as a Christian, and a human to care for anyone in need.
i guess that's the difference, during the program the members often spoke of preservation of their race, which is my race, which makes me ill. My skin color does not make up who i am, it has provided me with privilege that i often don't think about, and that makes me uncomfortable. Which being uncomfortable is a good thing, i should be uncomfortable, and then be apart of the change to spread love, and unity.
i have to talk and think of hope. We weren't meant to live without hope. We can hope for change, and be the change in the wind that strives for equality.