A lack of interest

i seem to always forget how blessed and spoiled we truly are in this country. i do remember, but i often get caught up in life and i often forget the privilege i was born into.
i really like that in my community group that we take a look a glocal (global/local) at life.
it causes uncomfortable prodding in my life, because when i see how the world out side of me works i feel compelled to take action. i feel drawn toward social justice, but lack the knowledge, and courage to really step out and make a difference.

i am afraid i am part of a generation where apathy rules. What drives this lack of interest in our lives?
i know i can be victim to my own lack of interest in life. How would one go about change? i can strive my best to create change in the world, but will that be good enough... it's a delicate balance between encouragement and nagging. Maybe if we get together and in one voice call the sleeping giant of apathy to leave it will go... Unfortunately, i lack the faith in myself to fully believe that is all we need. So, where do we start?

Hey, Peter Pan
I'm going home now
I've done all I can
Besides I'm grown now
I'll think of you all painted with the night
You sit and watch from somewhere
As one by one the lights go out

I wrote a note to tell you how you matter
When the rain came down
All the letters scattered
And washed away
Drifted off to Never
Where you'll be safe from me now forever

I believe you now when
You say that this will hurt
So I don't have to go and
Play with you in the dirt now

Hey Peter Pan
I'm going home now
I'm all grown up
Your on your own now
I'll think of you all painted with the night
You sit and watch from somewhere
As one by one the lights go out


Peter Pan
by: patty griffin

Things that make you go mmm....

~there is so much going on in the Middle East: bombings, civilian deaths, panic, and fear.
~plane crash in Hillsboro in a neighborhood.

The lead story on the 11 o'clock news for channel 8 on Monday night: Peacock attacks kid at the zoo.

Are you serious?!? The kid gets scratched, and this leads the news!?! Are you kidding me?! it's unfortunate, but honestly, i probably bled more the time i fell from the rogue pine cone on the sidewalk, and my scar pretty big.

It's times like this i really dislike the news. With all the chaos in the world around us our narcissism wins, or at least we are taught to fear whatever is in our backyard. What is wrong with the news media. Does our fear always have to win over everything? And comparatively speaking which really is the bigger deal, an animal behaving it's instinct, or what a serious conflict where the innocent are dying. Sometimes it feels like if it doesn't belong to an american, or an oregonian it isn't that important.

i read a book called the culture of fear, by Barry Glassner. it really is an interesting read on why americans are afraid of all the wrong things. it is interesting b/c it was published in '99. basically we are coaxed by the media to live in constant fear of the next big thing. Which makes me wonder, if we are always in fear of the next big thing, when do we really get to live?

Angelic Voices

When i get honest, i admit i am a bundle of paradoxes. i believe and i doubt. i hope and i get discouraged, i love and i hate, i feel bad about feeling good, and i feel guilty about not feeling guilty. i am trusting and i am suspicious. i am honest and i still play games. Aristotle said i am a rational animal. i say i am an angel with an incredible capacity for beer.



Brennan Manning
Ragamuffin Gospel

Finally

My computer's been down the last few days, and i've been very hostile towards him (i call him Mac). i now apologize for being a jerk, and saying hurtful things to him, only b/c it wasn't his fault. But i can now connect to the internet, yeah.

i've really been into this whole world cup thing over the last few weeks, i may have even dreamt soccer the other night. And since Brazil is now out, Go Italy! (even though they dive a little much for my taste). i have to say there is nothing like watching the game in a pub with others. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of the game.


i have now discovered that i need to spend a little more time riding bikes, only because i felt so awkward and goofy riding on the fourth of July. i loved it though, feeling stupid, and clumsy and all, and more importantly i loved being with friends... i felt a little like kermit the frog, b/c the bike was so cool and old school, and little like the goonies when they went on their treasure hunt, only we weren't looking for one eyed willie's treasure.
i have to say that will be one of my favorite memories, if not favorite memory of the fourth, and for the summer.