The neatness of my mind

Sometimes i think i am ill, or crazy. i say this because i spent yesterday cleaning, and i liked it! There is something to be said about doing something that there is an end result, a clean house, a quilt, a blanket, etc. i think i felt the need to clean because we got a new couch, a grown up couch (thank you Jenny Kuker). Plus since i can't control my circumstances, i can keep things orgainized, and i really am not obsessive about cleanilness, i think. Really i am not crazy.

i'm also reading "The DaVinci Code", it's okay the author is a little (or a lot) pretensious), but it is interesting fiction.
Here's some advice if you are planning to read it, don't go to Wikipedia and look up the book, they give you spoilers... i found that out the hard way :~(

LOST

You are the bad boyfriend that i cannot break up with. After our encounters you always leave me with more questions then before. You leave for months on end with no call, and when you return you offer no apology. You throw so much drama, and twists at me i feel like i've been through the spin cycle.

i would leave you, but i cannot, why because for the life of me i want to know what happens. Because you are the drug that i crave.

Say hello to my little friend

i think i shall call her Junior.

This beatiful sunshine

Yesterday i spent the afternoon with a good friend. It's been some time since we hung out, but it's always funny that though time has passed there is still that good friendship there.
She's really praying about becoming a nun, which amazes me. i think because it sounds so deep. i could tell it was becoming a reality for her, because she was trying to give me her CDs. It really caused me to evaluate my life. i try not to become wrapped up in the materialistic lifestyle, says the girl who will probably being buying a sewing machine this weekend.
i've had this week off, and it has been good. i've felt spread very thin for the last while, and i think the bout of solitude has really deepened my thirst for community. i've also enjoyed getting away. There seems to be many mini dramas at work, and i guess i don't want to get caught up with them. Honestly i hate drama, it makes me feel tired emotionally.
i feel like i'm growing stronger. i worry sometimes if i am becoming better at emotionally detaching, which means repressing for me. The last year and a half has been such a struggle for me, i feel like i had to reassess who i was. Actually the last year i feel i have been reorganizing my life after the tumultuous six months prior. As much as i hate to admit it though that mess and pain has taught me a lot.

There's no place like home...

i'm house sitting right now. There are things i definitely like about house sitting, like the solitude for a short time. Don't get me wrong, i like my roommate, but there is something to be said about a short retreat. Plus the best bonus is coming home. By the end of my stay i look forward to going home.

i am hopeful for Darfur. It is my hope and prayer that peace can be achieved. But i hope more that we as the US can keep the Sudanese government accountable to protect its' people. i guess it's up to us to keep our government involved.

Sadness

i'm sad, the Calgary Flames did not advance in the play offs. Maybe next year.

:~(

Monday, Monday

Today is my Monday. And boy was it a Monday, actually i lied it wasn't too bad. i didn't want to get out of bed (from the weekend of getting up e-a-r-l-y on Saturday, and the wicked early on Sunday after sleeping a fantastic 3 1/2 hours of GNC lack of sleep), so i was in denial.
Then the Burnside bridge was suck up, and so there was a detour so i was late... But that's all the bad, and that's not bad at all really.

And i feel so sleepy. Luckily i am working late, so i can sleep in.

i was reading Stacy's post on myspace with Stacy facts, and there was a question about "how do you attract the opposite sex," it made me laugh, and i wanted to repost that only because i wanted to say, "it's not a matter of attracting, i'm much better at repelling."
Now, before you get mad and reply let me explain, i'm not so good at attracting guys, or at least i don't seem to be. i hung out with an old friend a few weeks ago, and it seemed that we were refiguring each other out. i had fun, i have no clue if he did. i haven't heard from him, which doesn't bode much for my confidence; but i won't loose any sleep over it. The phone goes both ways. As for dating, i don't seem to be good at it; so i can't let it/ or the lack of really get to me. There isn't really anyone i want to date, or should date for that matter. Plus, my heart still longs for the one who broke it (which annoys me, i just wish my feelings would change).

Irony

Today seems to be surrounded with controversy. i did want to march and protest, for the thousands who are here illegally. They are breaking the law, but guess what, as legal citizens we do the same too, by jay walking, running lights, or littering, just to name a few.
i try to see both sides, only to better understand what i am grasping at for my own opinion. i had a friend here who was here illegally working, paying taxes and being taken advantage of by his employer. He would sometimes work overtime without receiving overtime, because that was the agreement, and it always bothered me.
i have also been thinking a lot of a way to remedy the situation, and that would be to help establish more work in Mexico, but it's always harder than it sounds. But there has to be a way to keep families together, and to grow the Mexican economy. Many leave because they can get more money here, and who can blame them? i don't.
About a month ago i read "the tortilla curtain", and it talked about illegal immigration and the lives it effects. i really want to see "a day without a Mexican".
i too am bothered by the harsh words of Christians who are not advocating for the foreigner in the land. Since when did the law of the land out weigh the law of God? i believe that we should respect the laws, but a felony for being an illegal worker, come on. We are a country based on immigrants many whom were illegal. If we take a real hard line view it will not miraculously make the undocumented workers mysteriously go away, it will only make their lives more dangerous. Let us advocate for them so they will not be abused.

Let us in a spirit of compassion and humanity recognize their hard work, and say thank you on a day that recognizes the worker be it legal or illegal.