i'm trying to find my way back to forgiveness. i get consumed with wondering how God could know me and forgive me, know my apathy and forgive me, especially when i struggle with forgiving those who have deeply hurt me, not allowing myself to fully accept the fact that God has forgiven me, b/c that means if God has forgiven me, i must too forgive.
For me to forgive would be to let go of my self-righteous anger. Or what could be worse, reconciling with a toxin on my soul. Forgiveness doesn't mean reconciliation though, it means letting go of the pain, hurt, and holding no harsh feelings. What i need is to allow myself to forgive without feeling the need to reconcile.
i don't want reconciliation, i want closure, i want to be free. i want to forgive, but i don't want things to go back to the way they were before. So what does that look like?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment