Happy Good Friday

Holy days for me are hard, because i want to shut myself in my own world and absorb the relevance of the day. Most of the time however, i cannot. i sort of thought of it being Good Friday at several times today.
It must be an odd day to understand if faith is not your cup of tea.
But what a day for those who believe. There are times that i cannot lift my eyes because of the guilt and shame of knowing that i have a part to play in my savior nailed to a tree. Along with that, though comes the gratitude for grace. Every night i thank God for His grace, but sometimes i feel the words fall off my lips as if i were ordering a sandwich, "God thanks for your grace". i have to try real hard not to get mad at myself for the words have gone stale. When i speak to God i want my words to be honest and real, and not routine.
tonight i got together with some friends and attended a Seder. It was a beautiful tradition, i love customs that are passed down (although, there needs to be caution so it doesn't become routine). But there was so much tradition in this meal. Although i was reminded of Fiddler on the Roof. Although now i really want a tattoo that says hallelujah in Hebrew, the lettering looked beautiful... Although, my ancestry comes from Europe, and i don't know if it would be disrespectful.

Happy Good Friday.

Shalom