not alone...

It never ceases to amaze me when i am feeling my worst that when i share my burden, my ache, my sorrow that the pain i feel eases. The funny thing is, that scary thing i feel so bad about most of the time isn't really as bad it feels inside of me.
Maybe those are the lies we grow up with, you are alone, nobody will understand you, you will be loved conditionally, you are unworthy. . .
It must be there where we learn to wear masks. It's there where we learn not to be true to who we are. But often i find that when i am honest, even at the fear of isolating others, i find comfort. But maybe that has to be for someone true to understand the baring of ones' own soul, even if it costs respect. i know some who may be reading this are some who have said to me "i was afraid to say anything because i didn't want you to think less of me." As someone who lives this fear i hurt. i hurt that there could be judgement there- and as much as i wish that i could say i would never judge. . . to say never could prove to be sooner than i thought. But that shouldn't detour us from being honest, sharing our lives, and striving to live into this thing called community.
For me it's my refuge where i realize i am not alone, because more than likely i haven't been the only one struggling, and that when we share our burdens we are living.