i have known for such a long time that i lack courage. i like staying comfortable, it's less scary. But i have to admit it doesn't get me very far...
It's tough to say when and where the lack of faith came, all i know is that it keeps me from doing a lot of things. i think fear that runs into worry seems to run my life. It makes really awkward, and i feel awkward often. So often i don't know what to say, or how to act, and i don't feel comfortable just being. That natural state where you just feel organic… adequate.
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I have battled fear all my life.
I remember having trouble swallowing part of an icecream bar when I was a kid and my Mom getting exasperated with me...later in my 20's I learned why some of us are chemically proned to more disabling fear than others. I am pretty much normal now but I know my limits. I don't beat myself up for it anymore. Lin
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