New Year

i have to say that i hate the idea of a New Years' resolution for myself. i only hate them because i never keep them, and honestly i lack the discipline to really change whatever, and even more i just don't care.

i was very hesitant for this year only because i feel like i was really pushed this week. i was so irrational, which stemmed from me not feeling like i was being heard. Now the problem lies in clear communication, which apparently through a conversation with my boss i realized that i wasn't being clear. So when we finally started speaking the same language i felt like a heel.
Why is it so hard for us to communicate our needs? For me at least i get hurt when i feel like i am not being heard, and i struggle really saying what i need. It seems crazy what fear keeps us from, sometimes it feels like fear really keeps me from living, it keeps me isolated, and alone.

i do feel like i learned a lot about myself this week. So maybe my promise to me, not as a new years' resolution but something to myself is to listen to what i need, and what i communicate to others.