Hard Stuff

i have to admit that i haven't been writing lately because i have been dealing with what i perceive as hard stuff.
At times i am so tired but my mind won't stop so by the end of the day it's all i can do to fall asleep at night.

i struggle with feeling awkward all the time, most of the time i can ignore the sheer panic and freaking out... But lately i kind of want to hide under my bed with my shoes. And i have to remember that i am not a member of the bluthe family (from arrested development) or that i go to mckinley high school (freaks & geeks), but sometimes those imaginary relationships are the easiest because they never ask the hard questions, and sometimes "how are you doing" feels like a hard question. i have been searching lately for what makes me tick, for what makes me afraid, what makes me want to run and hide.

i guess i feel like i have more questions than answers.