Neutral

Today has been hectic. i've been pretty busy, and overwhelmed at work the last two weeks, now going on three. Honestly, i hate it. b/c i want to stay positive, and not let my frustration show. It's hard too when everyone is so busy, and there is no communication. So, i've got to remember to communicate. i also think a negative attitude is contagious, especially in a small office.

In my down time i feel nothing, borderline apathetic. i can't really explain it. It's learning to live where i am right now too. It's hard when you learn growing up how bad apathy is, and this is my current emotion it's kind of like. "where do i go with this?"

When i look back from where i was a year-year and a half ago, there has been so much movement in my life. Good movement. i was struck with it on Sunday. It's embarrassing for me to admit how much i used to cry from depression, but now, it's not been that much. i do wonder if it is the apathy. And i do care about stuff, i do have passions and they are the things that really matter to me. i guess my apathy lies in the neutral. It feels healthy too, not like i just don't care about anything, i am just blah about the mundane.